Hannah…Meet Coffeetable April 9, 2008

Yesterday I learned that I cannot protect my child at all times – no matter how hard I try. Sometimes she just has to learn things the hard (and even painful!) way.

Hannah was ready for bed. And while I was tending to her brother and talking on the phone, I looked up just in time to see her trip and land with the corner of the coffee table right between her eyebrows. Of course, I wondered what permanent damage this would do to my child’s brain and (oh the vanity of this concern) her physical appearance.

She is fine – I kept her up for a while to be sure that there were no signs of a concussion, and this morning she woke up with just a small lump and light bruise.

But this incident caused me to reflect on the subject of beauty, vanity, and our culture’s influence on what we see as our “self-esteem/image.” And how twisted this subject has become thanks to American media, marketing… and our own sinful natures.

Not a day goes by that we aren’t bombarded by what has become pornography labeled “free speech.” Turn to any department store ad, walk through any shopping mall, turn on a soap opera or sitcom. Why does our culture shun illegal pornography, and accept – even applaud – all of these other things?

Perhaps it has become what defines us, giving us some goal to strive toward in our search for beauty or perfection. Either way, we have come to accept our bodies as what we are, as the essence of our being. It is no wonder we spend so much time and money attempting to perfect our physical appearance – the part of us that will return to dust. It’s, sadly, quite ironic.

Or, perhaps, our shunning of illegal pornography and acceptance of this “free speech” is the attempt of fallen man to follow the letter of some law that does not require a searching of the heart. We all want to be able to say that we are good, without having to search our hearts. The Law of the Lord requires that we not only follow the letter of the Law, but also the spirit.

Applied in this situation, being legal by American, man-made law doesn’t make something right. Following the spirit of the Laws “Thou shalt not commit adultery,” “Thou shalt not covet,” etc… would require that we carefully consider our views on these things.

When faced with this reality, its no wonder that fallen man hates the Law of the Lord. Its easier to follow the laws of men.

I don’t typically listen to Focus on the Family, but I did hear a snippet of a broadcast this week where Dr. Dobson mentioned how “unfair” it seemed when, after an incident with his daughter similar to that of ours last night, people no longer turned to notice and comment on his daughter’s appearance. He mentioned how we often hear “what a pretty baby,” or warnings to a father about having to fend off the boys when his daughter gets a little bit older. We say these things without even thinking. Beauty, and our obsession with it, becomes ingrained in our children’s minds from the moment they enter this world.

It seems as though little Hannah receives more than her fair share of beauty-focused comments every time we leave home. When I hear them, my initial reaction is pride (a topic for discussion in and of itself.) After pride, I feel some embarrassment over all of the attention. And then, as a mother and a Believer, I become afraid. Afraid of how this unhealthy level of attention to her physical appearance will affect her. Even, at times, wishing that my child were not so “cute.” Will she become proud? Vain? Could these traits, encouraged by the comments of strangers who mean well, actually do spiritual harm?

I don’t know. But after considering my fears, I must accept the fact that I have no control over these things, just as I had no control over the coffee table incident. I must trust that the Lord will protect my child not only in every-day life, but also in matters of pride… only the Lord can humble a heart that is, by its very nature, full of pride.

So, as the Mommy in me releases a sigh of relief, the Believer in me does as well.